i swear i'd rip my <3 out if you said you'd be impressed

better_never @ 2005-03-15T20:34:00

2005-03-16T04:35:54Z

NEW LJ . ADD IT ADD IT ADD IT ADD IT

__sensation __sensation __sensation __sensation __sensation __sensation

hmm .

2005-03-12T04:00:52Z

well, this past week has been kind of interesting. well not really that interesting. more like stressful, sickening (literally), et cetera ... but nonetheless, it was an ok school week.
this whole freaking week i've been sick. cough cough. it really sucks ass, especially with volleyball & track.
speaking of track. i pole vaulted yesterday in my first ever meet. & i sucked ass. i cleared the damn pole ... but on my way down i hit it. so basically i didnt get past opening height. very disappointing.
you know what else is disappointing? me. every weekend i tell my friends that, "yeah lets go to the movies this weekend" but i always end up not following through. seriously though, its not my fault. its my parents fault. they provide me with no mode of transportation whatsoever, because why? stupid basketball.

speaking of stupid basketball - i have a game on sunday ! hoorah. we're playing up a division though ... against juniors ... i'm the only freshie on a sophomore team, & no offense, but we kind of are not a very good team. hooray for being hammered !

ughhhh. i am still very very confused about this whole boy situation. do i like him ? or do i not like him ? i cant make up my mind. my mind (& a lot of people around me) are telling me not to like him, & there are a lot of reasons why i shouldnt, the biggest reason being that we dont really talk to each other. talk about awkward. but theres a part of me that still has a crush on him, a part of me that still makes me glance over at him even though i try not to. its that way all the time. i drive myself crazy.
i ESPECIALLY drive myself crazy with that whole other guy situation. the guy that i'll probably like until he graduates. the guy that might not even know my name. the guy that i've thought was cute since the first time i saw him. the guy that makes me smile when i see him. the guy that i like for no apparent reason. i mean seriously. all i really know about him is he plays basketball, he's older, he plays, well lets just say a sport other than basketball, he's funny, & he's single. & i just like him. i dont even know why. i guess its just one of those things.
dont you ever like someone without really knowing who they are? maybe thats why ive liked him for such a long time. he has no turnoffs ... because i havent had a conversation with him. but i will, eventually. like maybe when i have the balls to. which i will, eventually. hopefully soon. but then that will ruin the mystery of it all. i could find out that i dont like him. & then what? tha t would suck. i'm such a fcuking nerd.

anyways ... tomoro i have pole vaulting practice from 10-12. then my dad (or ellen) is taking me to wanjettes basketball practice from 1:30 to 3. then hopefully i'll go home & then PLEASE LORD i will see a movie with jennifuck, alex the azn conquerer, tar-asswipe, marietard fart-o, binkus bonehead, ina-dactyl, joanneissoadorable ... hahaha, i just like saying all of their nicknames ;D

this weekend looks like it will be ... horrible? just messing. kind of. i have my fun plans ... but i know that somehow my parents will fcuk them up. like always.

at least my grades havent dropped that much. all A's & A-'s, except for the B in religion. its kind of sad, because i think i have the highest grade in that class. doesnt look too bright.

to sum up the week in a word : stressful.
BOO for volleyball workouts at 6 in the morning, track practice until we're the only team left on the track, track meets where i dont even get opening height,essays & TP casts done into the wee hours of the morning (that are very poorly written), nights where i only get 4 hours of sleep, & parentals on my back for a fcuking B in religion ... ugh.
YAY for volleyball workouts making me very awake all day, substitute teachers, arguing about "root and foot", crazyhappyemo friends, lame sex jokes, boys & four day weekends.

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
That you belong with me

You might think I don't look
But deep inside the corner of my mind
I'm attatched to you
mmmm

I'm weak, it's true
Cause I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cause my heart keeps falling faster

[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

You don't know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move

I'm weak, it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?

[Chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
The way that's true

[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

♥"watch out ... fuki's gonna fuk you up!"

wow. dont read this.

2005-03-06T07:20:51Z

[ .001. ] first name: christine
[ .002. ] middle name: ann & teruko
[ .003. ] last name: fukushima
[ .004. ] nickname(s): FUKI, fuku-saurus, fukmonster, the fuk-ster, chris, tine, tinetine, scrub, fuki-isha-ima
[ .005. ] qender: female
[ .006. ] birthday: 11/14
[ .007. ] height: 5'1 & a half
[ .008. ] hair color: very dark brown, needing highlights of any color
[ .009. ] eye color: brown like mud ;D
[ .010. ] do you wear qlasses or contacts: contacts
[ .011. ] do you have braces: no
[ .012. ] is your hair lonq or short: longgg
[ .013. ] where were you born: in a hospital
[ .014. ] current location: the ghetto of reseda
[ .015. ] zodiac siqn: scorpio
[ .016. ] how many lanquaqes do you know: english. very very sad, considering im ASIAN
[ .017. ] what launqaqe do you want to learn: ESPANOL, tagalog, japanese
[ .018. ] bad habits: BITING MY NAILS PAST THE POINT MEANT TO BE BITTEN
[ .019. ] piercinq you have: 2
[ .020. ] piercinq you want: more on my ears, perhaps my belly button
[ .021. ] tattoos you have: none
[ .023. ] today: pole vaulting practice, basketball practice, homework, fcuking working at the stupid nishi thing when i SHOULD be at the mall with ina & emma...
[ .024. ] today's date: 3.5.05 i think
[ .025. ] the time: 5:29
[ .026. ] ready for a bunch more questions: perhaps

F A M I L Y
[ .027. ] mother's name: lourdes cadorna fukushima
[ .028. ] father's name: michael fukushima
[ .029. ] brother's name: ass but i dont have a brother
[ .030. ] sister's name: erin & jessica
[ .031. ] favorite aunt: myy tita zee?
[ .032. ] favorite uncle: myyy tito noel !
[ .033. ] favorite qrandparent: all of them
[ .036. ] worst relative: i dont know
[ .037. ] best relative: my leeetle joaquin !
[ .038. ] do you qet alonq with your parents: not right now
[ .039. ] does anyone in your family understand you?: my sister erin

P E T S
[ .040. ] do you have any pets: a dog
[ .041. ] what are their names: dolly
[ .042. ] what kind of animals are they: a dog?

S C H 0 0 L
[ .043. ] are you still in school: yeppp
[ .044. ] did you drop out: look above?
[ .045. ] current qpa: 4.286, soon to be a lot lower
[ .046. ] favorite qrade: 9thhh freshie year is the besttt !
[ .047. ] least favorite qrade: im not sure. probably 4th?
[ .048. ] favorite teacher: coach gross ! AHAHAHA, probably mrs seery
[ .049. ] least favorite teacher: MS. MELTON
[ .050. ] favorite subject: team sportsss haha just kidding ... english when it isnt fag like it is now ...
[ .051. ] least favorite subject: english, math, & science, but i like my math & science classes
[ .052. ] do/did you buy lunch or brinq it: depends on my mother
[ .053. ] play any sports on the school's team: varsity basketball, track & field (POLE VAULTING BITCHES), & im trying out for volleyball
[ .054. ] do/did you do any extracurricular activities: a basketball team outside of school ... i joined a lot of clubs too but i havent actually followed thru with them
[ .055. ] are/was you popular: i love my friends & thats all that matters
[ .056. ] favorite dance: wth ... like what do you mean
[ .057. ] favorite memory: hotstuff memories, krista memories, certain olg memories, ND memories ...
[ .058. ] favorte memory you want to have: hmmm WELL, that would be an interesting one, involving a certain upperclassman that plays out in my mind everyday ... HAHA just kidding !
[ .059. ] least favorite memory: anything where i got cut. oh, & sounding like a robot in english
[ .060. ] most humiliatinq moment: sounding like a robot in english

F A V 0 R I T E S

[ .061. ] number: 3
[ .062. ] letter: Y O U R F A C E
[ .063. ] shoes: vans slip ons
[ .064. ] saying(s): YOUR MOM GOES TO COLLEGE !
[ .065. ] TV show: THE OC, one tree hill, saturday night live
[ .066. ] sport: basketballl
[ .067. ] veqetable: corn, tomatoes, cucumbers
[ .068. ] fruit: grapes strawberries, PINEAPPLES
[ .069. ] movie: coach carter, dodgeball, lilo&stitch, finding nemo, the wedding singer, mean girls ... so many
[ .070. ] maqazine: cosmogirl
[ .071. ] actor: adam brodyyy, liam aiken, ryan goslinggg equals hot sexxxx
[ .072. ] actress: mmm i dont know
[ .073. ] candy: m&ms. obsession.
[ .074. ] qum: altoids
[ .075. ] scent: that stuff by tommy hilfiger that boner has
[ .076. ] candy bar: hersheys
[ .077. ] ice cream flavor: strawberry, chocolate
[ .078. ] color: pinkkk!
[ .079. ] season: winter & summer
[ .080. ] holiday: christmas ?
[ .081. ] band: daphne loves derby, the spill canvas, story of the year, taking back sunday
[ .082. ] singer: i met ryan cabrera once, johnny legend
[ .083. ] qroup: SPICE GIRLS
[ .084. ] rapper: me, obviously haha no, jose, right jen lol
[ .085. ] type of music: emo supremo
[ .086. ] thinq in your room: my bed & picture wall
[ .087. ] place to be: oahu & with my friends
[ .089. ] tv channel: uhh right
[ .090. ] junk food: candy ahaha
[ .091. ] overall food: japanese
[ .092. ] store: urban outfitters, hollister, american eagle, abercrombie and fitch
[ .093. ] hangout: where all the cholas are aka northridge mall. or ULTRAZONE good times good times
[ .094. ] fast food: in & out, taco bell, panda
[ .095. ] restaurant: shakas, anywhere with food is good for me
[ .096. ] shape: AHAHAHA who makes these things up?
[ .097. ] time of day: i dont know ?
[ .098. ] country: united states bitches
[ .099. ] state: hawaii & cali
[ .100. ] boys name: jeffrey, liam
[ .101. ] girls name: mmm i dont know
[ .102. ] mall: northridge, topanga cuz theres a hollister
[ .103. ] video game: DDR !
[ .104. ] shampoo: herbal essences
[ .105. ] board game: uhm, not a big board game fan
[ .106. ] computer qame: flashflashrevolution
[ .107. ] car: no idea
[ .108. ] music video: a lot make me laugh
[ .109. ] swear word: beeeyotch
[ .110. ] word: yourmomgoestocollege, MARIETARD, TAR-ASS
[ .111. ] month: december ?
[ .112. ] cartoon character: that hot guy in that tv show
[ .113. ] scary movie: none
[ .114. ] team: my clipperssss
[ .115. ] possession: this laptop & my "g is for gangsta" shirt

WHATS THE FIRST THING Y0U THINK 0F WHEN Y0U HEAR..

[ .116. ] eminem: JOSE AHAHHA JENNN
[ .117. ] dog: dolly
[ .118. ] hott: *******
[ .119. ] britney spears: gay
[ .120. ] nsync: gay
[ .121. ] real world: gay
[ .122. ] orange: hungry
[ .123. ] choice: pro
[ .124. ] fuck: please
[ .125. ] bisexual: mishca barton
[ .126. ] black: john
[ .127. ] icq: what?
[ .128. ] insane clown posse: rappers
[ .129. ] linkin park: UIHSHJSGSGH
[ .130. ] jack: you know
[ .131. ] rainbow: happy !
[ .133. ] cucumber: FOOOD
[ .134. ] shark: scary
[ .135. ] lifehouse: scary
[ .136. ] bat: scary
[ .137. ] leather: kinky
[ .138. ] whip: kinkyyy
[ .139. ] america: states
[ .140. ] water: thirsty
[ .141. ] volcano: boner

T H I S - 0R - T H A T ?

[ .142. ] rock or rap: rock
[ .143. ] rock or pop: rock
[ .144. ] rock or r&b: rock
[ .145. ] rock or metal: rock
[ .146. ] rap or pop: rap
[ .147. ] rap or r&b: rap
[ .148. ] rap or metal: rap
[ .149. ] pop or r&b: r&b
[ .150. ] pop or metal: pop
[ .151. ] r&b or metal: r&b
[ .152. ] linkin park or limp bizkit: linkin park
[ .153. ] tool or korn: what
[ .154. ] selena or jennifer lopez: j.LO
[ .155. ] hot or cold: hot
[ .156. ] winter or summer: mm both?
[ .157. ] sprinq or fall: sprinq
[ .158. ] shakira or britney: britney
[ .159. ] icp or eminem: eminem
[ .160. ] marilyn manson or rob zombie: ew
[ .161. ] kittie or qarbaqe: what
[ .162. ] mtv or vh1: mtv
[ .163. ] buffy or anqel: ew?
[ .164. ] dawson's creek or qilmore qirls: gilmore girlsss !
[ .165. ] football or basketball: basketball!!!
[ .166. ] summer olympics or winter olympics: summer olympics
[ .167. ] skiinq or snowboardinq: snowboardinq
[ .168. ] rollarbladinq or skateboardinq: skateboarding because of the men hahaha
[ .169. ] black or white: black
[ .170. ] orange or red: red
[ .171. ] yellow or qreen: green
[ .172. ] purple or pink: pink
[ .173. ] slipknot or mudvayne: neither
[ .174. ] hot topic or pac sun: both
[ .175. ] inside or outside: both
[ .176. ] weed or alcohol: homegrownnnn hahaa just kidding. neither please you fcuking prude
[ .177. ] cell phone or paqer: cellyy
[ .178. ] pen or pencil: depends
[ .179. ] powerpuff qirls or charlie's anqels: charlie's angels win hands down
[ .180. ] scooby doo or dino: dinosaurs like ina & tara & me
[ .181. ] draqon ball z or pokemon: im a pokemon
[ .182. ] star wars or star trek: i have a toy ewok, you
[ .183. ] tattoos or piercinqs: piercinqs
[ .184. ] prep or punk: prep
[ .185. ] slut or whore: SLUTTTTT

P R I V A T E L I F E

[ .186. ] do you have a boyfriend: nope
[ .187. ] do you have a crush: a raging obsession & a crush <33333
[ .188. ] do you love anyone riqht now: your mom & napoleon dynamite
[ .189. ] have you ever been in love: i dont know
[ .190. ] how many people have you kissed: 1
[ .191. ] who was your first kiss: jorge
[ .192. ] how many hearts of have you broken: hmmm
[ .193. ] how many people broke your heart: a couple
[ .194. ] best quote to sum up love: FAG
[ .195. ] so what is your bf/qf/crush like: they make me wonder why i like them. baddd sign.
[ .196. ] do you have a picture of him/her: no
[ .197. ] please post it if you do: heh
[.198. ] do you have a picture of yourself: yea
[ .199. ] please post it if you do: go to my myspaceeee
[ .200. ] do you qo by looks or personality: "that's what i like about you kate. you have a "personality" AHAHHAHA YESS DODGEBAALLLL
[ .201. ] ever kiss a friend: he was my friend, yes
[ .202. ] are you still friends: yes
[ .203. ] do you smoke: no
[ .204. ] do you smoke weed: no
[ .205. ] ever trip on acid: no
[ .206. ] how about a little x: no
[ .207. ] crack, heroin, anything else: no
[ .208. ] beer qood or beer bad: badd
[ .209. ] are you the sissy who drinks wine coolers: im the prude who drinks nothing & will one day get drunk out of her mind & have to be driven homw & put to bed
[ .211. ] prefer beer or liquor: mmm
[ .212. ] what kind of cigarettes do you smoke: none
[ .213. ] are you a virgin: yes, in all ways except pole vaulting. & other things. but sex, yes im a virgin
[ .214. ] if no, when was the last time you got some: last night. you were there.

W 0 U L D Y 0 U E V E R..

[ .215. ] bunqee jump: chyeahhh
[ .216. ] sky dive: hmmm
[ .217. ] swim with dolphins: yessss
[ .218. ] scuba dive: looks like funnn!
[ .219. ] go rock climbing: yay
[ .220. ] eat shit for $1,000,000: NO. well, whose shit?
[ .221. ] turn your back on your friends for personal qain: no sirree
[ .222. ] steal a friend's boyfriend/qirlfriend: NO
[ .223. ] cross-dress: i am a man.
[ .224. ] lie to the police: about ... ?
[ .225. ] run from the police: i'm really slow
[ .226. ] lie to your parents: duh
[ .227. ] walk up to a stranqer and kiss them: depends
[ .228. ] be an exotic dancer: I AM AN EXOTIC DANCER HAHAHA JUST KIDDING
[ .229. ] walk out of a restaurant without payinq: if i forgot?
[ .230. ] streak: "WE'RE GOING STREAKING!"

Y 0 U R F R I E N D S

[ .231. ] closest friends: jen, alex, john, ina-dactyl, tar-ass, my blood sista lor
[ .232. ] known longest: john my pogi brother
[ .233. ] wish you talked to more: my hotstuffers & krista kay
[ .234. ] wish you saw more: my hotstuffers & krista kay
[ .235. ] how many friends do you think you have: im not counting them
[ .236. ] who drives you insane after a while: uhhh ... haha just messing. none, really
[ .237. ] who can you stay around forever and never qet sick of: most of them
[ .238. ] ever lose a qood friend because you took it to the "next level": YES
[ .239. ] craziest: kirsten peedinmylap & jackie
[ .240. ] loudest: kirsten peedinmylap & jen & ina
[ .241. ] shyest: alex
[ .242. ] best hair: alexis with her sexy new haircut haha & binkus boner with her volcano head
[ .243. ] can always make you laugh: ina & tar-ass
[ .244. ] best eyes: curtis, if he counts as a friend
[ .243. ] best body: my pogi brother. i'd tap that. alot.
[ .246. ] most athletic: jen & alex
[ .247. ] sex symbol: ho-anne & binkusss hahahaha
[ .248. ] hot tempered: MARIETARD when they throw dodgeballs at her ;D
[ .249. ] most impatient: mmm i don’t know
[ .250. ] shortest: taquito delicious aka tar-asswipe & anne
[ .251. ] tallest: Kevin, aka tall skinny asian shotput boy
[.252. ] talented: hmmm … haha all of you guys are special
[ .253. ] best singer: I haven’t actually heard you guys sing
[ .254. ] skinniest: Kevin hahaha
[ .255. ] nicest: probably ho-anne hehe “kindest”
[ .256. ] best personality: all of them <33333
[ .257. ] biggest drug user: old school friends LOL

H A V E Y 0 U E V E R

[ .258. ] flashed someone: does mooning count ?
[ .259. ] told a person how you felt bout them: obviously
[ .260. ] been to michiqan: no ahahah
[ .262. ] gone to jail or juvi: nope
[ .263. ] skateboarded: attempted
[ .264. ] skinny dipped: in the bathtub
[ .265. ] stolen anythinq: from my sisters
[ .266. ] wanted to kick my ass for makinq this so long: YES
[ .267. ] kicked someone's ass: attempted? No, I haven’t even attempted.
[ .268. ] peqqed someone in the head with a snowball: mmm a regular ball
[ .269. ] broke a beer bottle: I don’t know
[ .270. ] qotten into a bar, under-aqed: ehhh no
[ .271. ] kissed someone of the same sex: hmmm
[ .273. ] qone on a road trip: chyeahhh
[ .274. ] qone on vacation without adult supervision: yessiree I think
[ .275. ] been to a concert: nope =/ but I will
[ .276. ] been to another country: de pilipeens
[ .277. ] talked back to an adult: yepppp
[ .278. ] qot pulled over: while I was in the car
[ .279. ] qot in a car accident: little ones
[ .280. ] broke a law: TPing count?
[ .281. ] qiven money to a homeless person: no. im horrendous.
[ .282. ] tried to kill yourself: no that’s scary
[ .283. ] cried to qet out of trouble: of course
[ .284. ] kissed a friend's brother or sister: nooo
[ .285. ] kissed a brother or sister's friend: noooooo EW
[ .286. ] dropped somethinq on the floor that you were cooking and ate it: hahahah yeahhh

0 P I N I 0 N S

[ .287. ] what do you think...about pop music: depends what kind
[ .288. ] about boy bands: break me off a piece of that fagggeryness
[ .289. ] about flag burninq: odd
[ .290. ] of the war on terrorists: as long as theyre gone
[ .291. ] about suicide: stupid & sadd
[ .292. ] about people who try to force their opinions on you: fuck off
[ .293. ] about abortion: pro choice, sorry
[ .294. ] about rock/metal music: me gusta mucho
[ .295. ] where do you think you'll be in 10 years: a job, a family
[ .296. ] who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: hopefully the ones I have now

W H A T D I D Y 0 U DO

[ .297. ] last birthday: a little party
[ .298. ] yesterday: went to morning workouts for volleyball, went to school, went to pole vaulting practice, saw hitched at northridge
[ .299. ] last weekend: twas gay
[ .300. ] christmas: I think it was here?
[ .301. ] thanksqivinq: I think it was also here?
[ .302. ] new years: vegasss
[ .303. ] halloween: trick or treating with jennnnn in my ghetto neighborhood, scaring random passerbys
[ .304. ] easter: I think san jose with the hotstuffers
[ .305. ] valentine's day: twas very gay, but fun

T H E L A S T

[ .306. ] thinq you ate: streak
[ .307. ] thinq you drank: lemonade
[ .308. ] thinq you wore: my “g is for gangsta” shirt, love & basketball sweater, & jeans
[ .309. ] place you went: my room
[ .310. ] thinq you qot pierced/tattooed: my ears
[ .311. ] person you saw: dad
[ .312. ] person you kissed: Jorge ew lol jkjk
[ .313. ] person you fucked: no one sorryyy
[ .314. ] person you talked to: tar-asswipe
[ .315. ] song you heard: that one by jack johnson

. : N 0 W : .

[ .316. ] what are you eatinq: nothing
[ .317. ] what are you drinkinq: nothing
[ .318. ] what are you wearing: my sweater & sweatpants
[ .319. ] any shoes on: nope
[ .320. ] hat: nopeee
[ .321. ] listeninq to: nothing
[ .322. ] talkinq to anyone: Derek & Andrew
[ .323. ] are you pissed i made this so long: YES

.Y or N.

[ .324. ] are you a veqetarian: nope
[ .325. ] do you like cows: very much
[ .326. ] are you a bitch: sometimes. Today, yes
[ .327. ] are you artistic: I wish I was
[ .328. ] do you write poetry: occasionally
[ .329. ] are you a fast runner: NO
[ .330. ] can you ski: nope
[ .331. ] are you british: I wish
[ .332. ] do you want to spear britney: that’s clever
[ .333. ] do the voices talk to you: a lot
[ .334. ] did you ever qive barbie a haircut: yeppp.
[ .335. ] would you eat mac & cheese with hot doqs in it: gross
[ .336. ] do you think disney creators were on acid when they made 'alice in wonderland': I liked it
[ .337. ] are you straight: straight hood homie, HAHAHAHHA
[ .338. ] are you stupid, insane, and another physically handicapped: all of the above
[. 339. ] are you nauqhty: very
[ .340. ] are you nice: very, sometimes
[ .341. ] are you short: sadly
[.342. ] are you tall: I wish
[ .343. ] do you own a hot pink shirt: no, but I stole jen’s
[ .344. ] how about oranqe pants: nopeee
[ .345. ] can you see the flyinq monkeys: in da wizard of oz…..: yes?
[ .346. ] are you evil : perhaps
[ .347. ] did you ever know someone who had a mullet: sadly, no
[ .348. ] is britney a whore: is the person who made this obsessed with Britney spears?
[ .349. ] are you a teenaqe zombie: right now I am
[ .350. ] am i annoying you?: extremely
[ .351. ] do you like marilyn manson: nopeee
[ .352. ] are you secretly from another planet: uhmmmm
[ .353. ] did you ever touch someone else's private parts: you would know
[ .354. ] this is over, are you happy now: VERY
Hahahha stole this from jennifuckkkkk ;D !

♥fuki

well ...

2005-03-04T03:07:47Z

doesn't it just suck when everybody is so emo? & doesnt it suck when the people you hang out with dont like the other people you hang out with, & in turn you dont like the people that your friends hang out with? everyone has been so emo lately & its not like im blaming them or anything. the beginning of march is a bit bleghhhh. i just hate it that i let my friends' moods rub off on me. everyone thinks i'm like "happy fuki!! ;D" & actually ... most of the time i am, & thats the way i like it. who doesnt like being happy ? when im at school with my friends (usually) something funny is happening, & we're all laughing & i just dont think of anything else except for whats happening in that one moment. nothing ties my thoughts down. HE doesnt tie me down anymore & for that my life is just so much better.

yesterday was the first track meet. it was actually a lot of fun. no, i didnt compete. i havent even tried to vault yet, but hopefully ill be vaulting soon. like next thursday, lol, then im out of a morning workout ;D but more than getting out of the workout, i just want to vault. it looks amazing. seriously. & they go sooo high too. its like flying !!

i'm so confused in the boy department lately. its like they have multiple personalities. its on & off. one second, he seems interested & the next it seems like he doesnt care. i dont get it. i hate that awkward feeling of knowing he knows. i hate awkwardness. i hate myself for letting that happen too. for example ... i liked this guy a few months ago, & back then it was hard for me to talk to him because id get shy & nervous. now i can joke around with him & everything & not be nervous ... but i dont have a crush on him anymore. why does that always happen ?

& what really sucks is that people assume i have this huge crush on him when in reality, i just dont. its like a little crush. a baby crush. a tiny crush. i'm not desperately in love with him or anything. arghhhhh. & what also sucks about it is i just dont know which direction to take. do i pursue it, or do i wait for him?

boys suck. schoolWORK sucks too. i really DO have a C+ in religion. how retarded do you have to be to have a C+ in sacraments? a lot of our class has a C and below, but still. i cant believe i have a C+ in religion. blaahhhhhhh.

i wish i could just take a few days off from everything. just a few days off from morning workouts at 6 in the a.m., bad grades, confusing boys, & emo friends. i love the last two, but sometimes i just get so tired. like right now. i am beyond tired.

& I JUST WANT TO TRY VAULTING OVER THAT POLE BEFORE THE NEXT MEET BECAUSE I WANT TO COMPETE !!!! i'm still like a pole vaulting virgin !!

when your mind is a mess so is mine i cant sleep
because it hurts when i think when my thoughts arent at peace
with the plans that we make & the chances we take
theyre not yours theyre not mine
there are waves that can break
all the words that we said & the words that we mean
& the words can fall short, cant see the unseen
because the world is awake so for somebodys sake
now please close you eyes
you, please get some sleep

sleep & know that if i knew all of the answers
i would not hold them from you
know all of the things that i know
because we told each other there is no other way

too much silence can be misleading
youre drifting i can hear it in the way that youre breathing
we dont really need to find reason
because out the same door that it came well its leaving
its leaving
leaving like a day thats done & part of a season
resolve is just a concept thats as dead as the leaves
but at least we could sleep its all that we need
when we wake we would find, our minds woud be free
to go to sleep

sleep & know that if i knew all of the answers
i would not hold them from you
know all of the things that i know
because we told each other there is no other way

♥love♥
fuki</3

...

2005-02-27T18:50:17Z

alot has changed since that last post, even though it was almost exactly a week ago, lol.

first of all, school - i now know that my grades in the beginning of this semester were utter crap, to say the least, & unfortunately im probably going to be paying the consequences after this first progress report. i have practically a C in religion, which is very very very very very VERY VERY bad. not bragging, but i've never even gotten a B on any progress report, report card, etc. in my life, & when the parentals see that C, then i am D E A D & buried. greeeeat. the other grades arent too good either. i am officially screwed, unless magically tyree grades the next test & my project before the grades are due at the end of the week, & i do well on those things. like, acing it well. fantastic.

my after school activities have changed too - no more basketball practice at school, but i have track. & guess what ?

I MADE POLE VAULTING ! yayyyy KiRSTEN AKA PANDA EXPRESS & CLAY AKA WHITE RIOT & me AKA uhm i forget, were oh so happy that we didnt get cut. we ran down the field with our jousting sticks, splashing in puddles & getting very wet with out white t-shirts because we are not too bright. hahaha, your prostitute tshirt kirsten, lol. anyways...i actually like track practice. how weird am i? i actually look forward to it, because I LOVE POLE VAULTING. it is just waaaay too much fun for me, even though there is a bruise on my ass [as well as multiple other places] & my calves hurt again. my calves used to hurt during the beginning of basketball season. veryyyy weird feeling. painful too. i think i tweaked my ankle also.

it's not like i dont have basketball either. i have wanjettes practice every saturday, & on like march 26 or something prep league starts for the asianssss so i have official basketball a couple days a week, for now. when summer starts i'll probably have a lot more, all the way up until next spring season again. i'm extremely excited for this summer. it will be great, hopefully.

oh, & i'm trying out for volleyball too. nervously anticipating the first morning workout tomoro. even though the chances of me making the volleyball team are about nothing percent, at least i can get an extra workout every other day. i'm scared about getting out of shape for basketball.

i cant stop thinking about this summer. there are so many things i want to do. i want to work at the sports camp for 5 weeks or 6 or whatever, plus ill work at the basketball camp, then theres san diego with the team ... wanjettes tournaments too, & i really want to go on vacation to hawaii in august, which is essentially my only month off. & thats the way i like it. & i also really want to hang out with mis amigas y amigos, i.e. the asians & the hotstuffers [at least once] & krista & my brother & everyone else i usually dont get to see. hoorah.

<33 fuksterrrrr

better_never @ 2005-02-20T17:40:00

2005-02-21T01:50:45Z

well ... the season is over. we lost yesterday to palos verdes, in our first round.
i am really really sad about it. the season felt soooo long, but i can't believe it's over already. no more practices until 8 at night. no more rides home with jess & linsey. no more forgetting my jersey every day. no more pre game hoosiers, coach carter, remember the titans, etc. no more after school surf city with megan. no more "bring em out bring em out", or dee li kumba. no more pre game letters (& i've saved them all). no more coach hammy calling me "fuki ... fuku-saurus ... fukkkster ... fukmonster!". no more giggling hysterically with alexis while watching the boys games. no more messing around on the bus. no more saying, everyday, "i don't want to practice today". no more missing 4th period basketball with alex cuz we're freshies. no more game days, no more practices, no more team.
it's quite depressing.
i'm going to miss all the seniors </b>soooo much</b>. they probably don't realize it, but like coach said, they really have influenced me with their work ethic & everything about them, & without them next year things won't be the same.
but at least there's a next year, & a year after that, & a year after that.
but there's no more this year. ugh. depressinggggg.
i don't know what i'm going to do with myself until next year. well, i do know, (TRACK, SUMMER CAMPS, VOLLEYBALL CONDiTiONiNG, BASKETBALL OVER THE SUMMER), but still. i wish it wasn't over.
i know this is corny, but this season was one of the best things to happen to me & i'll never forget it.
♥fuku-saurus

better_never @ 2005-02-12T00:31:00

2005-02-12T08:37:19Z

THE LADYYY KNiGHTS VARSiTY BASKETBALL TEAM iS MiSSiON LEAGUE CHAMPSSS FOR THE FiRST TiME iN NOTRE DAME HiSTORY !! i'm just so happy to be a part of this team. i love you guys, every last one.

besides that wonderful occurence, i basically felt like total & complete shit yesterday. i just kind of broke down on my way home. so much stupid shit & serious shit is going on. stupid, selfish shit: im playing like complete crap in basketball. the guy i like will know i like him soon (& i cant decide if thats good or bad), my gpa is slippinggg. serious shit: i dont know what to do about this friend i have who is in a delicate situation right now, & its just stressing me out. i couldnt hold it all in anymore. im so weird though. even though all this stuff is going on, i basically get happy after awhile. i cant stand being sad.

mMm thR1CE: maybe youre bipolar

today was a very fun day. JULiA & i finished our visual display in the very last minutes before it was due, & it turned out goood !!! wooo ! i was so happy that we didnt have to present it. goood luckkkk !!! its because i found 3 dimes during PE, where we played dodgeballlll ;D. then class & stuff, blah blah nothing special. i sat with KiRSTEN PEEDiNMYLAP & KRiSTiNA & RYAN during lunch for the first time in centuries, which was nice. i should do it again, we need to chill more, extreme, extreme. after school we took basketball pictures, fina-freaking-ly.

then after THAT i went home & fell asleep on my bed, due to the fact that i had about 4 hours of sleep last night. so out of it. then i went to ULTRAZONE for my sister's birthday party. happy birthdayyy !! iNA-DACTYL & EMMAAAA SEXYYY met me there, & we lazertagged the night away, militia style. good times, good times. cute boys with good style & long hair watching us play DDR: updownupupupuprightleftup ahahah emma i thought that was youuuu hahah groaning LOLOLOL "i think they were checking you out, you shouldve shaken your butt !!". the mandatory "who likes who" talks, where we debated who has liked the weirdest guys. for once, i do not win ;D puahahhaha ... that kid in the trenchcoat: "follow me! lets protect the base!" ... question: why do a bunch of cute guys go lazertagging on a friday night with no girls? odddd ... picturesss with the camera fone. how dirtyyy. the christines. frakensteins boogers. the green steaks. why do little kids like food and animals so much ??? that was reallyyyy fun you guys !!! then after that they went to mi casa & harassed people online & looked at pictures & SUMO WRESTLEDDDD !!! "can you see me TAPTAPTAP" & emma, you with the back scratcher as your arm, ahaha, you guys are the BEST. i love you guys, we should chill TOMORO ! skatelanndddd ahahha emamamamma ! fo shizzle fo shizzle ina-izzleeee ! duuude, ina-dactyl, we have so many inside jokes. seriousss.

so i feel pretty good right now. it doesnt matter if he finds out who i like. i love my friends. (& if i didnt invite you, im sorry, its cuz i never get to hang out with ina & ive been trying to for a longgg time, & i havent chilled with emmamamama in a longgg time too.) we're mission league champsss. i plan to chill tomoro with my friends, & i have a party tomoro & a party sunday, too. life isnt total shit like it was yesterday. i'm happy ;D

<3 ina's bitch

hmmm ...

2005-02-08T02:26:06Z

this is weird.

a lot of people are changing, in good ways, in bad ways, & in ways that really don't matter at all. i don't know ... =/ everyone is kind of ... pissy lately. i'm kind of pissy lately. it's the "i-have-no-time-to-hang-out-with-my-friends" thing again. but whateverrrr, its changing & basically i'm happy with life right now. ;D

so anywayssssss ....

HAPPY BiRTHDAY TO CHAR-LESBiAN. here are some words to describe char-les: my bitch. charming fob like voice. weird. pedophile. KOREAN. [uhm yeah im not racist everyone]. stupid. faggery. & he's only in my compooper class right now so i miss him & his lesbionic ways. hahaha i LOVE YOU CHAR-LESBiAN !

&&&& HAPPY BELATED BiRTHDAY TO ALEXiS !!! i know i haven't written in here for awhileeee, or at least around your birthday, so i just wanted to say HAPPY BiRTHDAY cuz you rule & i love you & you're an awesome sophmore ballllerrrrr !!!!

<3fukinotpuki

she's lost inside

2005-02-05T07:40:27Z

when i listen to music, i feel so emo. ugh, lol. whateverrrr ...
so yesterday we fucking LOST to harvard westlake. our first mission league loss of the season. after the game & during the beginning of school i felt soooo dead. i fell asleep in like every class except for science. plus, i got a C on my computer test [ C+ whatever same thing ]uhm ... oops ?
after school though, after practice, i felt so much better. i felt really hyper. we started to make posters for senior night after practice [which i only had for like 5 minutes]. well, they started to make posters. i was more watching the freshmen bball game & hindering the process ;D
so alexis & i were walking back from joanna's paints&crafts or whatever it is cuz we bought paint for the poster, & some crazyyy perverted guy stopped his car alongside us, rolled up his window, smiled scarily, & started to dance. we flat out ran back to school ahahahha. it was great. "WE JUST HAD THE RAPE TALK TOO!" hahah alexis !!
then i left, & came back for the varsity game, a bit late. i sat with alexis. then with mom&mom [moises&ali], & yeahhhhh. camera fones. "go talk to him ... you have 8 minutes & 39.5 seconds!" & they put him in, ahahahh, it was wonderful. the game was so exciting !!! & no, not just cuz he played ;D

how does it feel to know you're everything i need?
the butterflies in my stomach; they could bring me to my knees
how does it feel to know you're everything i want?
i've got a hard time saying this so i'll sing it in a song
oh i adore the way you carry yourself
with the grace of a thousand angels overhead
i love the way the galaxy starts to melt when we become one
how does it feel when we get locked into a stare?
please don't come looking for me when i get lost in the mess of your hair
how do you feel when everything you've known gets thrown aside?
never fear, my dear, cuz we have nothing left to hide
hold on to me boy
if you feel your grip getting loose just know that i'm right next to you
just know that i wont let you down
i'm ready to run away with you
are you ready to run away with me?
pack your things so we can leave today
say our goodbyes & get on the train
just you & i in the sweet unknown
we can just call each other our homes
if i had to choose a way to die i'd be with you
in a goosbump infested embrace with my overanxious hands cupping your cherub face

the truth is i found someone new ... & he easily towers over you
♥fuki

YOU WERE RiDiNG HiM LiKE SEABiSCUiT !

2005-01-30T08:41:27Z

so yesterday was the winter sports rally ... really short, & kind of stupid, but thanks for the support guys lol ... i heard you yelling, much love mdears !

today was almost deadly boring, because i almost wasn't allowed to go out ... actually i initially wasn't, but then i talked my mom into letting me, so BLOOD SiSTAAA&i went to the GALLERiA to watch MEET THE FOCKERS . it was a lot funnier than i thought it would be. plus, there was the added bonus of cute white boys with beanies sitting behind us. yum ;D [ but don't think i did anything, cuz im a pussy. next time, next time =/ ] i think BLOOD SISTAAA&i should traditionalize the going to the movies thing. & least once a month would be good !

well, i finally got my excuse to go to winter formal. KiRSTEN called me & told me to go. she got asked to go, as did KRiSTiNA, & they want as many reinforcements as possible. its kind of girls ask guys, but i guess their dates were too hott for their pants & didnt want to wait around ... just kidding lol, but yeah . i'm not asking anyone. definitely no. why? cuz im a pussy, but also because, well, i don't know anyone i really want to go with. it's not like last dance when i reallyyyy wanted to go with CHRiSTiAN. someone asked me to go with them, but i don't know, i don't really have anyone in mind that i'd want to go with ...

...ok, i admit it. im in total & complete denial. i DO want to go with this one person, but there's the slight problem that he might not even know much about me past my name. & the chances of that changing are very little. because, once again, i am a pussy. literally. fuki=puki=vagina in tagalog. oh the irony of it all. just kidding, dont i sound very emo right now ? i'm really not feeling too emo right now, though. i'm happy i have an excuse to go to winter formal with my friends & i even have a little bit of an ulterior motive to going. make that multiple ulterior [secret] motives for wanting to go.

it'll be fun.

comment if you're going to winter formal, or if you aren't going to winter formal !

<33fuki

p.s. new sn [yes, again] f uuuu ki f acee !!

p.p.s. HE iS GORGEOUS TARA !

AHHHH !

2005-01-28T06:19:25Z

WE BEAT CHAMiNADE ! 56-54 !!!

6&0 biatchessss !!!

i am soooo giddy & happy & all that good stuff ... no, i didnt play but still ...

i love cj hill & the entire notre dame lady knights varsity basketball team !!!

"WHOOOO GOT A ViCTORY ? WE GOT A ViCTORY ! "

<3fuki

;D

2005-01-25T03:15:55Z

this weekend kind of sucked . basketball, mostly, as usual . wanted to do something with inadear, but plans fell through. oh well, there's always next time !!
liiike friday perhaps ? ;D
anyways, i got a photobucket, so i can put pics on here . hoorah !

adam finally got a haircut !!!

my "brother" is effing hott ;D

this is kirsten's reaction to this picture :
"wow. he looks very ... mexican. where did all the mexicanness come from ?"
it's cuz he's wearing MY bracelet ... biatchhhh !

i really miss my hotstuff ballerrrr hotties =[

busting out the ASiAN POSE !! hahah [ you can see my sweater in the background ]

ew, gross & sweaty !! me, MY BLOOD SISTAAA, & lynette

♥ f u k i
i love you guys

hmmm ;D

2005-01-24T07:26:00Z

WE BEAT ALEMANY !!!
no, i didn't get in the game, but i really didn't expect to anyways. & WE WON !! 4&0 biatchess !
no school tomoro, hurrah ! ;D but there's practice right in the middle of the afternoon . i'm not too sure what i'm going to do tomorrow . i was thinking movies with inadear & company, but there's practice . gr . its all worth it if we're mission league champs though ... ;D
200 miles away from home.
200 miles beneath this lake is where my heart belongs,
but you don't care at all.
you wouldn't even smile if i were screaming as the water filled my lungs.
you demand to be chased for your love.
my desperate heart is far too weak to run for you this long.
but you don't care at all.
there's nothing i can do to draw you close to me.
can you take this silence like a pill so I can breathe again?
e been trying to ignore the best parts of you.
i'm still hoping that i'll be with you somehow.
please be home tonight.
i'll die if I don't get a chance to make this just right.
i'm sorry but i can't forget about the way i feel every time you're here.
what would it take for me to be with you?
i swear i'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed.
please be impressed.
i'd go so far to please you but i bet you wouldn't care at all.
hopeless love, please leave me.
this broken heart is far to weak to run for you this long.
why don't you care at all?
i'm dying for a place in your heart.
can you take this silence like a pill so i can breathe again?
i've been trying to ignore the best parts of you.
i'm still hoping that i'll be with you somehow.
please be home tonight.
i'll die if i don't get a chance to make this just right.
i'm sorry but i can't forget about the way i feel every time you're here.
hopeless love, why did you carve your home in me?
this broken heart is too weak to hold your weight.
& now i regret the day we met.
& help me forget your name.

basketball boysss ...

2005-01-21T18:10:54Z

FiNALS ARE OVERRR !

i went to the nd vs. crespi game at nd yesterday night . ;D it was okay ... onlyy the JV team won though .

TODAY WE PLAY ALEMANY ... WOOOOO !!!!! i am so excited !!!!

JOANNE&i decided, after watching the games, that we want to date basketball boysss ...

now doesn't that sound like fun ? ;D

here is my schedule for the new semester ...

BLUE DAY ; 1st period - spanish w/ fuentayyss ... 2nd period - science w/ tuttle ... 3rd period - math h w/ coach gross ... 4th period - comp. app. w/ shamoohian

GOLD DAY ; 5th period - team sports w/ vasquez ... 6th period - english h w/ melton ... 7th period - sacraments w/ tyree ...

COMMENT iF WE HAVE ANY CLASSES TOGETHER ;D

<3f u k i

m u a h h h h h !!!

2005-01-19T22:44:39Z

i HATE FiNALS . i AM A LiVEJOURNAL WHORE. TODAY THiS GUY ASKED ME WHO i HUNG OUT WiTH & i SAiD ASiANS . HE LAUGHED AT ME . i TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT . i ALSO FAiLED AN ENGLiSH CRAP - ESSAY . & i STUDiED MATH FOR AN iNSANE AMOUNT OF TiME . & i DiSCOVERED THAT HE iS EVEN BETTER THAN i iNiTiALLY THOUGHT . & NOW i'M SAD COHS i CAN NEVER HAVE HiM . PLUS, i'M SAD COHS i HAVE REVERTED TO THiS DAMN CAPiTALiZATiON THiNG . i CAN'T STOP SMiLiNG . i WiSH i WAS OLDER . NO, i WiSH HE WAS YOUNGER . NO, i WiSH i WAS GORGEOUS . i WiSH i DiDN'T HAVE FiNALS . i'M HUNGRY . MY MiND iS JUMPiNG ALL OVER THE PLACE . THE DOOR TO MY ROOM iS BROKEN . "REACH BACK LiKE A BAWD & SLAP THE STRUMPET" . TOMORO THE BOYS ARE PLAYiNG CRESPi . YUM . i AM GOiNG TO THAT GAME AFTER PRACTiCE . TOMORO i'M GOiNG TO SMiLE AT HiM . NO, TOMORO i'M GOiNG TO FORGET i AM TOTALLY iNFATUATED WiTH HiM . THiS iSN'T iRREVOCABLE . iS THAT A REAL WORD ? i AM SO PATHETiC .

here's a better question ...

how do i get a guy that i like to notice me ... if he is older ... & we don't really hang out with the same group ... & he is flipping fantastic ?

because i totally adore this guy .

<3f u k i

so i'm procrastinating again.

2005-01-19T00:33:45Z

exercise is good for you, if you're sick.

i don't like him anymore, thank god. i really don't know who i like.

i'm not quite sure if i kicked religion&espanol finals' ass, or if it kicked mine. i'm pretty sure its the former though, hopefully.

i adore my friends. they are wonderful. they are the sex. i just wanted to say that. they make me laugh, we should go out & see a movie & check out guys' hair, because we are indie like that. or at least, some of you are. for the others, bring on the ass.

as a matter of fact, life is good right now.

i jocked [ no pun intended ] this question from alex's LJ :

"christine cannot live without ... {complete the sentence ] ..."

COMMENT PLEASE !!!

<3 f u k i

hmm ...

2005-01-16T06:19:40Z

well ... sometimes boys are worth it, and sometimes they just aren't. i guess this guy is just one of those guys. it kinda sucks but ... i don't really care. i change my mind quickly anyways =]
it just sucks when soo many guys lately have not been "worth it".
winter formal is coming up. i dont even know who i want to go with. not that it matters, cuz im not asking anyone, but if anyone asked me, well, i dont know who i would want to ask me. well i do, but ... ahhh ... its just confusing me.

anyways ... i saw coach carter today !! with the team, it was fun. i liked calling that kid a "stupid freshman", oh the irony of it all. & it was so funny. i love the team. i love being the stupid freshman who has to carry the popcorn. i love basketball, except for the fact that it makes me sicker than i am already.

I AM SO SICK !!!! i have a [ non-contagious ] ear infection, & a very contagious cold. i hope i havent infected anyone, besides binas, i know i've already infected him.

i'm scared about finals. so far they've been waaay better than i expected them to be [ journalism & spanish orals ] but the ones that are coming up ... they scare me.

♥ fookie

better_never @ 2005-01-08T22:32:00

2005-01-09T06:43:30Z

my life has been ok ... you might even say g o o d ...
i went to the boys' basketball game at home vs. loyola yesterday ... yum, loyola boys are fiiine ... hahah !
during the freshmen game, britney, tara, jackie, jen, marie & i walked to the mall.
in the pouring rain we walked to the mall.
by the time we got back to school we were soaking wet. i looked like a drowned rat, but at least my hair dried curly, which i like. plus, i was full cuz of my panda YUM express. although the stupid people gave me the wrong order. i knew it, i knew it.
so we went back to the game. the JV game was r e a l l y exciting, but we lost. the varsity game was exciting too, but they lost too. it was fun !! i want to go to the next set of games on wednesday.
then today i went to the varsity boys' basketball game with the team. team bonding & such. it was funnyyyy. megan, "you are a nerd" . i love you. & alexis, you are funny too, ::wink wink:: lol. . it sucks that i missed him playing [ & scoring !! ] ughhh oh well, thats ok.
would it be stupid of me to fall for an upperclassman that i don't really know ?
... because that would be really, really easy to do.
♥ fookie
when coach carter comes out ... movie time !!!!!!!!! i cant wait to see that !!!

better_never @ 2005-01-08T00:12:00

2005-01-08T08:24:45Z

WE BEAT CHAMiNADE !!!!!!
WE BEAT CHAMiNADE iN THEiR OWN GYM !!!
iN OVERTiME, 45-42 !!!
don't underestimate us now !
i was SOOO excited. they had their band & their cheerleaders & a whole yelling loud crowd of students & parentals. it was soooo loud in that gym. iT WAS SO EXCiTiNG, especially for a little freshman like me. i didn't get to play, but i still was soooo tense during the game, because it was so pressure-filled.
hopefully i get to play against louisville on tuesday !!
it's at home, so be there bitches !

& on the boy front.
i can't trust him, even with something as simple as a friendship ...
& especially with something as fragile as my h e a r t.
so yeah. you lose. you are missing out. as usual. but this time, i am r e a l l y not going back.

& also on the boy front: i like someone.
no, just kidding.
or am i ?
even i dont know.
bleghhh !

i went to the crespi game on wednesday night with jess, linsey, cj, & grassu unexpectedly. saw michael & just hung out with him & the freshman basketball team, but no, i was not hoe-ing it up, because a. i was in my bball clothes and b. since when have i ever been close to hoe-ing it up ?
HAHHA, & i have to say, it was well worth going to. verrryyyyy interesting.

♥ FOOKiE

new years !!

2005-01-03T07:37:01Z

well ... 2004 was a year of firsts ... & a year of lasting memories [ i know, how corny ]

& THiS WAS 2004 !!

-any HOTSTUFF memories [ oh, & there are too many to name. plus, i can't remember what year they occurred in, so let's leave it at that for now ]

-my first BOYFRiEND [ jorge ]

-my first BREAKUP [ jorge ]

-my second BREAKUP [ jorge ]

-my third BREAKUP [ jorge ]

-my first KiSS

-my first TPiNG

-my first MOONiNG escapade

-making the JV bball team over the summer ... FUN STUFF !!! [ lol, tami, moises, kelsey, pillar, alex ... ]

-making VARSiTY basketball [ something i thought i wouldn't do till like ... i was a junior or something ]

-my first high school BASKETBALL GAME [ which we won !! ]

-making NEW FRiENDS in high school that i actually had things in common with, who actually made me genuinely feel like i could be myself [ like JEN, iNA, KiRSTEN, REEREE, EMMA, ALEX, BiNKUS, HOANNE, TARARARA ... so on ... if i forgot you, don't hesitate to tell me ... ]

-going to my first high school dance [ HOMECOMiNG !! ]

-going to my first high school dance with the person i actually wanted to go with [ CHRiSTiAN ! ]

-messing up in practically ALL romantic interests thingys ... [ gahhh, there must have been like 5 i actually had a chance with ... =/ ]

-graduating after an amazing [ credentials wise ] school year

...yeah, 2004 was pretty damn "bitching" once i look at it like that ...

& my resolutions for 2005 ... there are a lot ...

-kiss a boy that IS NOT jorge ... sorry that i had to name you, dear jorgey ... lol

-STOP BiTiNG MY NAiLS

-get good grades [ durrr ] -gain a sense of direction

-have CONFiDENCE & ALWAYS BE MYSELF & DONT BE iNTiMiDATED by guys i like & basketball, esp. !!!

well, i do love you all. have a perfectly wonderful 2005 !

♥ FOOKiE

blah

2004-12-28T08:29:06Z

christmas was alright.

no, i lie, it sucked major ass, not because of gifts or family feuds or whatnot, but because i spent the majority of that festive day either lying down or barfing my brains out, pleading for tylenol. effing disgusting. & i still have it too, grosssss, i feel nauseous (sp?).

for christmas, i got a brand new, non crappy, camera fone, money, giftcards to abercrombie & best buy [ woo, clothes & CDs ! ], purses, porn [ thanks EMMA ], a picture frame [ i love you INA ! ], & assorted other goodies.

i'm so excited, i cant wait to get out out california. i want to go to vegas & forget about basketball & boys [ well, at least california boys. oh, & failed relationships with non-california boys ], & friends who aren't really friends, who just see me as a convenience cuz they think they know me but they really dont ... i just want to sleep & go shopping. seriously. GAHH i am sooo paranoid.

now here comes the long, typical-of-a-sad-asian LJ post, where i rant & rave about friends, boys, relationships, stress, & whatnot. feel free to not read this.

i should feel depressed right now. my past three days have consisted of this, in short: on christmas i spend all day feeling utterly disgusting, fatigued, cold, hot ... plus i barfed a lot. the next day, i went to a party where i blew my chances cuz i didnt even try [ & not for the first time ! ] with a cute out of towner boy. then today i spent the morning barfing [ yes, again ], then going to a basketball game [ which we lost ] where i didn't get a single minute. not that i felt like playing, for once, because when i jumped i felt like heaving, but hey, i didn't tell the coaches that. so basically i didn't play because i wasn't needed. & FUCK, it is fucking 12:00 & i'm still up waiting for the laundry to be done so i can put it in the dryer so i can sleep.

you know what i'm tired of? i'm tired of feeling like people i felt were my friends actually only are my friends when it's convenient. i'm tired of people living in the past & because of it, shutting off people who can be a part of their future. i mean, i know that there are parts of my past that i like. i like some of my old friends. i rely on some of them still. i realize that some of those people will be my friends for life. however, i'm not going to shut off people that can be a part of my life NOW, that i just met. i'm not going to be like, "well, i just met you & you are like my best friend, but uh, i have old friends, so i'm only going to talk to you when they aren't around." i know its stupid, but that's what i feel is happening a part of the time, & it kind of makes me sad, which sucks when you're me, because being sad is my ultimate all time letdown [ no pun intended].

back to boys, cuz its always, always back to boys. i sincerely hope that the boy i'm analyzing here doesn't read this, but there's always a chance. in which case, i apologize in advance for analyzing you, cuz you don't seem like the type that enjoys being analyzed.

so yesterday i walk into kristen's house, & who do i see. of course, it isn't the cute boy i'm expecting to be there. no, he doesn't even show up ! [ thank god, cuz he is a drag ]. no, it's that kid i met over the summer, or well, i kinda met him, that cousin boy from hawaii who plays the guitar & has a gorgeous voice. so of course, seeing as i thought i would never ever see him again, i told my sisters & their friends that i thought he was cute [ kinda like to get a laugh out of them & be entertaining whatever ] i don't know, it was a longass time ago. so of course, being the dumbfuckingshit i am, i bust out of the room. i didn't even recognize him, so why was i embarassed? he knew i thought he was hott ... but that was in august, & even then, does that even matter?

that's the part that kills me. it's not just this situation, just this guy, it's the guys i've met & liked but been too nervous to talk to, & the guys i know i'll meet in the future but will be too scared to strike up a friendly conversation with. it is so weird not to mention aggravating. i get along just fine with guys that i have no romantic interest in. i make them laugh, i poke fun at them, i joke around with them. i'm myself. but if you put me [ alone ] in a room with a guy like that, then it's like i have nothing to say. it drives me crazy. i wish i was more confident. it's like i need my friends there to support me, but why am i like that ? [ speaking of friends, thank you very muchos blood sista for helping me actually enjoy that night. you too, adam otter! ] ughhh it is sooo aggravating. oh, & just to make sure i make this clear, in case he reads this - i'm not singling you out or anything, just ranting about a little problem i have. =/

so i've decided to make that my number one new years resolution:

be confident. be bold. be daring. be myself, in all situations, whether it be boys, basketball, or friends.

love, fookie

better_never @ 2004-12-23T23:50:00

2004-12-24T07:52:11Z

that night was hysterical. don't you love those festive decorations ?

♥ FOOKiE

we lost today. =/
LADY KNiGHTS 10&2

STOLEN FROM ANNE

2004-12-22T07:40:56Z

TEN Random Things About Me:
10. i honestly don't know what my cross streets are
09. i ate sushi for dinner & now i'm full.
08. i enjoy writing in half cursive, half printing
07. i want to go to the mall tomorrow.
06. i think that the song lyric "SNOOOOOOOOP" is ingenious.
05. my hair is in braids.
04. people call me fookie.
03. we [ the varsity lady knights bball team ] kicked st euthanasia or whatever's ass
02. my favey color is pink.
01. i adore daphne loves derby & acoustic emo

NINE Places I've Visited
09. mammoth with the hotstuffers [ good times ! ]
08. san jose-y [ ditto ! ]
07. vegas [ where i will be on december 30-january 2 ! ]
06. disneyland [ with various people ]
05. lake tahoe [ with michele & yum hot boys ]
04. san francisco [ ditto ! ]
03. chicago [ uhhh c-town ? ]
02. HAWAII namely OAHU, my favorite place in the world
01. your mom, in bed

EIGHT Things I want to do before I die
08. go to japan
07. meet adam brody
06. make out with a famous person
05. become successful
04. kick major ass in basketball
03. learn to play a song on the guitar
02.
01. YOUR MOM

SEVEN Ways to win my heart
07. be FUNNY
06. be sweet but not sappy
05. look in my eyes & make my tummy turn [ in a good way !!! ]
04. call me late at night just to talk
03. don't be shy !!
02. have a passion [ music, sports, whatever ]
01. love me as much as i love you

SIX Things I believe in
06. god
05. daphne loves derby
04. the spill canvas
03. asian pride [ no, i kid ]
02. that someone out there is right for me
01. myself

FIVE Things I'm afraid of:
05. the dark
04. being alone
03. bugs
02. scary movies
01. basically everything

FOUR of my Favorite Items in my bedroom:
04. my compooper [ which i'm mad at right now, actually, cuz it isnt working ]
03. my ipod
02. my blanket
01. my bear =/

THREE Things I do everyday
03. EAT
02. play basketball
01. sleep

TWO Things I am trying not to do right now:
02. call someone
01. eat an orange

ONE Person I want to see right now:
01. oh lord. there are too many.

better_never @ 2004-12-19T12:07:00

2004-12-19T20:08:46Z

wildest night of my fucking life.
my life needs to get wilder.
but that was pretty wild.
& fucking fun !!!

♥ FOOKiE

FiLL THiS OUT ... si ?

2004-12-10T07:05:58Z

DOESN'T EVERYONE HAVE THiS THiNG ?
FiLL iT OUT PLEZEE !

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How sexy am I?
13. Did you vote for John Kerry?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your page and see what I say about you?

oh. my. god. the game yesterday was soooo exciting !
we beat el camino, 49-48. with 2 minutes left in the fourth quarter we were down by 10. oh god. it was excellent.
♥ FOOKiE

KAT: there's someone in this book named candy.
me: eew, that's gay.
KiRSTEN&KRiSTiNA: NO THAT'S HOTT !
::5 seconds later::
KiRSTEN: i WANT TO SUCK ON HiS BLOW POP !

welcome to pervertedness.
HARARADGSHJHGFH !
i like someone. =]